Q: What’s the difference between a Baptist and a Lutheran?
A: The Lutheran says hello when you run into him at the liquor store.
I am thinking of putting a few mini-vodkas in my bag on Saturday. Just to numb the pain of the social hour following the graveside service. I can never remember the names of these very polite people who have known me in one form or another for almost 40 years. Being a little buzzed won’t help my memory, of course, but it’ll help something.
I was leaving my dad’s house tonight and the elderly couple who lives off my dad and stepmother’s cul-de-sac was outside wandering in their night clothes. I think they are both in their late eighties, the wife likely has Alzheimer’s, and no one takes care of them during the day or at night. The husband is usually walking near the high school, which is across a very busy street. Tonight was the first time I’d seen the wife.
I asked them if they needed a ride home and the husband approached me. I was a little nervous. He was very nervous and I wasn’t sure if he was going to reach out and grab me. He was that close to me. He asked, “Do you know where I live?”
The wife, meanwhile, was hoofing it to another neighbor’s house. There are no street lights in the cul-de-sac and it was well past ten. I told the husband that I did know where he lived and that I was going to get him home. He gestured toward the wife: She’s mad at me and won’t come.
Okay. Time to run inside and get the parents. My dad and stepmom rushed to the wife and talked her into walking back to her house with them. I was getting my kids situated in the car after a long and frustrating day. By the time I was driving out of the circle, my parents were having a seriously hard time getting this woman to cooperate with the going back home idea. I know they eventually made it, though.
My grandmother had good neighbors, too.
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