My thank-you note to my former energy provider…
- Are you a green company?
- If I forget to pay the bill because I’m a little distracted, and dude, if it’s late by like a week, will you fucking cut off the power with nearly no warning?
- Yes, I know you sent a letter, but who checks the mail these days? Haven’t you ever heard of the mobile phone or email?
- And if you do cut off the power, can you not wait until the first day of summer vacation when the kids are home all day waiting for the slightest flicker of the TV?
- Have you ever gotten the stink eye from a teenage girl who was waiting until I went to bed to hack into the cable parental control settings, but who now has no reason to live?
- Do you absolutely have to wait allllllll day to restore power? Have you really never heard of computerized, centralized systems? Why is DirecTV so far ahead of you in this race?
- Why are you hiding from me? A live person is always available when I want to talk soccer scores, but not when I need these questions answered?
- When I switch to you, new energy provider, can you cut me some slack? Geez, it’s hard out here for a forgetter.
