today begins the year it’s not gonna happen not gonna happen not gonna happen

[cincopa 10538169]

Today is Jordan’s 15^th birthday. Long-​​time fringe readers are well-​​aware of my PTSD paranoia she won’t live past this year. What a way to acknowledge the first born’s special day, eh? But I am going to make myself feel better by listing the things I just knew was gonna happen without a doubt yet never did. In honor of my little buttercup, 15 things and one to grow on:

1. Getting a moped when I was 12
2. The family ski trip to Colorado I started asking for when I was six
3. Winning any and all lottery jackpots
4. The house burning down each time I leave it
5. Never having to work, serving full-​​time on charity boards
6. Becoming a published and well-​​established fiction writer
7. Marrying Michael Jackson
8. Managing my hair without relaxing it
9. Getting amnesia, then returning to a new normal as a neat freak
10. Getting married, then having sex every single day (I think I actually wrote that one down somewhere)
11. Riding in the MS-​​150, the annual charity bike ride from Houston to Austin
12. Never spanking my kids (Okay, that one may have come true, whatever)
13. Going to medical school with all my mad science and math skills I do not have
14. Winning the regional spelling bee
15. Finishing first in my high school class (hey there, Asha J—from #32)
16. Living my entire adult life in the mountains of Colorado or California

Birthday don’t be sillies in comments…

other posts you may enjoy:

• This all started because I wanted to ride in the MS 150
• the fringe wayback machine
• odds and ends and archives
• somebody around here needs a good spanking
• prioritizing Easter weekend: egg hunt before two days in the hospital