we are hiring a shoelace writer
We need her to have extensive experience writing about shoelaces. Yes, we know she’s a writer, and it’s certainly not enough for her to have direct experience using shoelaces. We need to see samples of her writing about shoelaces. In the shoelace industry. No. God, no, are you listening? It’s irrelevant that she wrote about shoelaces for a shoe company. Shoe companies are not shoelace companies; how can you even confuse the two? We need a writer with direct experience writing about shoelaces in the shoelace industry and we need samples. She’s got samples? Fantastic. Send over the ones focusing on blue, yellow and pink shoelaces, toddler and geriatric. What do you mean her shoelace writing samples were written for mainly users of white, generic? Hell, yes, there is such a thing as geriatric laces—I thought you said this moron had experience; how could she not know that?
We’ve been working on this special project for three years and we are now three years past our deadline. We need case studies written on blue, yellow, pink, toddler, geriatric laces by the end of the month or heads will roll, but certainly not mine because I never professed to be a shoelace writer or even to know the first thing about writing. I goddamned know shoelaces and this girl had better know them too or heads will roll, but certainly not mine. Send over her white, generic shoelace writing samples and I will stay on.her.ass until she fucking learns who is the pink yellow blue toddler geriatric shoelace king up in this bitch, you hear me?
What do you mean she’s no longer interested in the position? Nobody turns down the shoelace king. Nobody.
crap.
@Motormouth, I have a bag of restaurant-style tortilla chips out in the car. I think I’ll have them for lunch. I also have a drug-test, relaxer & haircut, and interview this week. The shoelace king will be charmed.