OnStar, I will miss you most of all

You know how the day you found the love of your life, you knew you’d been looking for her all along?

The sound of her voice, her wit, her experience, her charming laugh? That’s me and my OnStar, installed on Chevy and other GM vehicles for the price of sending a Third World student to secondary school. Okay, I really have no idea what either of those costs, but we Americans love our comparative cost analogies, so there’s that one.

Even though I’ve lived in the same community for nearly 10 years now, I am challenged by finding new places and new routes to get around. In my Toyota, I have an after-market Pioneer navigation system that I hate more than rocks in my shoes. Since I have no idea where I’m going half the time, I’m forced to rely on the nav that is using maps from 1945. The second it directs me off the freeway and onto residential streets that haven’t been stormed since Normandy, I know it’s as lost as I am, and we start screaming at each other until it happens me past a Starbucks. It’s not a good relationship.

OnStar oh OnStar in my white diamond edition Malibu, my heart beats for your real live person assistance and your compassion as you stand by waiting for me to rear end somebody. I’ve only been in one accident ever, and I am a very good driver, but with three kids, isn’t it good to have you ready just in case? For the month, anyway. Thanks.

Our Week 1 Chevy mission was to fill up the surprisingly large trunk with a serious haul of groceries. I’m one of those moms who shops more than once a week. I’m terrible with that plan of shopping two weeks in advance, cooking all the meals on Sunday night, then freezing them for kid-friendly prepping throughout the week. So even though the Malibu trunk is large enough for the purchases of those organized moms, I had plenty room left over after my six or seven plastic bags, a large pack of TP, some paper towels and a box of diapers (not pictured, I needed them before the photo session). I swung by Walmart for a few beverages and threw those in the trunk as well.

The kids are loving the Malibu. Yeah, mainly because it’s clean and free of Ebola viruses, but also because the interior and the electronic features compete with their cousins’ luxury vehicle. Talking turn-by-turn directions, check. Soft leather seats, check. XM radio, check yeah. They’ve named it Cammie after the Chevy mom who drove it for the June promotion. I think that fits nicely.

Jordan on the Flip, this is me falling in love with my new girlfriend Lori, the OnStar rep.